like a whole bucket of stars (demidyke) wrote in endosurvivors,
like a whole bucket of stars

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my related rant

over the past couple days i've been noticing a lot more advertisements that are so subtly (or not so subtly) damaging or negative to women. i know this is nothing new. i know it's not really getting dramatically better or worse. but damnit, i read this journal and read about all the shit that endo women put up with, and all the barriers we face... and it's like "oh, thanks... on top of all of it, we're pieces of meat. you want us to put out. to be stupid. to not wear an ample amount of clothing. etc etc.."

i really feel like people's concepts of their own capability is so affected by the environment they're in and how they deal with it. how much control they feel they have. i guess i say this because with endo, i just hit a low where everything was so awful, i was in so much pain, missing so much school, so much work, i felt like i had no control. everything that came out of me was exhaustion, a rant, or tears. and this was AFTER surgery. then, all of the sudden, i started making slight changes. i started taking more vitamins, trying out herbal supplements. i started exercising more regularly. i tried yoga. i tried moxibustion. i gauged for myself what was and wasn't helpful. and you know what? i started to feel more in control of my body, and i started to feel a lot fucking better. i'm still trying to find a birth control that works for me, and i still have my lesser days, but i swear, it's been a 180. i swear, it's mental. it's what you believe you are capable of.

i'm not trying to say surgery and drugs don't work (i'm on them), or that i don't let the ads affect me (they do), i'm just saying there's a lot more to it than that. and seeing ads that put women down or pigeon-hole them just remind me of the interconnectedness i sense between these types of things. i give myself a little more time in a day, i nourish my body with rest and food, and voila. a 180. fuck, it didn't even cost anything.

i'll get off the soapbox now. i just needed somewhere to sound that out. 'cuz i'm motherfucking surviving.
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